Friday, 19 October 2007

5 Tips for Greatness

Written for Clash Magazine, September 07

Five Tips for Achieving Greatness:

1. Having a surname makes you look common. Call yourself 'the something' (eg John the Baptist) or 'of something' (eg John of
Norwich)

2. Make use of quotations. use the classics - Pope, Shakespeare, Anchorman, Mallrats.

3. Have a sidekick. Make sure you're not actually their sidekick. This is heavily dependent on what you chose to put at the end
of your name. For example john of norwich is almost certainly somebody else's sidekick.

4. Be prepared for enemies. if you go around quoting Anchorman all day long you are going to make some enemies.

5. If all the above fail, die young.

4 comments:

Crablin said...

Alright love.

Drew said...

How about having a name that rhymes? It worked for (the late) Evel Kneivel, although admittedly he made up the first name. But you could hardly become anything but a sports legend, if your name is Shaquille O'Neal.

An Anonymous Writer said...
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SazperellaDrop said...

This made me laugh, and is also pretty true...I love to quote Mallrats especially, maybe I could be pretty great if I change my name, it's Saz (short for Sarah)...any ideas for a 'the' name?